Monday, February 24, 2014
Author: Obert Skye
Price: $17.99 ($14.85-Amazon)
Rating: 3 out of 5/The Mole
So we have come to the conclusion of Obert Skye's Pillage trilogy. It is true that while this book had a similar feel to his runaway success series Leven Thumps, Pillage stood out on its own as a very different type of story. Reality was reigned in to be... well much more real, and the story had less of a dream like quality to it. This being said don't expect to much normality from the man whose imagination is often a hilarious acid trip. Plants beat up angsty teenagers, dragons try to eat everyone, and adults keep coming up with hilarious explanations for obviously crazy situations. It's a book that always deserves being read out load and one that parents and children should find equally entertaining.
Beck Phillips has released many dragons on his poor unsuspecting town but he has finally sworn off egg planting for good. Unfortunately as the town tries to rebuild Beck seems to be under constant attack... from plants. Ambushed at every conceivable location he can't seem to escape his curse and the tab of his destructive escapes keeps on rising. To make matters even worse his father seems to have finally cracked and gone crazy. A fate Beck will share if he can't find a way to destroy the final dragon eggs. Beck thinks he may be able to destroy them... just as soon as he plants them to make sure they're defiantly the right eggs. You can never be too careful right?
The biggest complaint that I have with this book, and honestly the entire series, is the repeating of the plot. In each book Beck tries to resist the pull of evil, plants an egg, and destroys his town. The details may be different but the same sequence of events is always the same. This makes everything a bit predictable, especially for the older and more skilled readers. Another complaint, although very slight, is the intelligence of every person who is not a main character. I fully understand that the idiocy of the population of the town is a running joke within the series. It's just that these adults don't seem to even be able to achieve basic logic during most of the story. However, like I said, It's such a small complaint that you shouldn't let it deter you from reading the book.
Like all of Obert Skye's novels the dialog stands out as spectacular. It's a book that was written to be read out load and the experience is simply not the same without sharing it with someone. Every conversation is hilarious and every line refreshingly unexpected. I've always been overjoyed whenever some path of dialog went in a completely unexpected direction and these conversations bring up memories of favorites like The Princess Bride and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Possibly my favorite thing about this absurd adventure is its innocent absurdity. There is really nothing else like it in children's literature right now and as silly as the adventure is Im glad to have a break from the paranormal and apocalypses.
Ambush is a fun and silly tale, even more so when you start saying some of the lines out loud. Even though the story similarities of books in the trilogy caused this installment to slip to a 3 out of 5 you shouldn't let that deter you from an enjoyable and easy read. Or even better, grab yourself an audio version and have a fun car ride with the kids.
Monday, February 10, 2014
So maybe Ender's Game could have been better in theaters... and perhaps the non-Ender child actors could have stepped up and stopped acting like they were in a Disney Sitcom. But what do you expect from an adult book turned into a children's movie? Since us Ender lovers have to take what we get at this point we have created a drinking game to help ease you into the dvd release of Ender's Game!
1) Every time Ender gets picked on take a drink
2) Every time Harrison Ford is in a scene take a drink
3) Every time Ender wins a battle take a drink
4) Every time a child actor says some terrible cliche line take a drink
5) Every time you see an army symbol take a drink
6) Every time you hear the word bugger take a drink
7) Every time someone say's Enders name take a drink
8) Every time Ender cries take a drink. (puking counts as an extra bonus drink)
9) Every time Colonel Graff is clearly just messing with Ender's head take a drink
10) Every time Ender yells take a drink
Monday, February 3, 2014
Hey Gang its Thanksgiving again and that means it's the one year anniversary of our "BOOKS THAT WE LOVE TURNED INTO MEDIOCRE MOVIES DRINKING GAME." This is an exciting time for us here at the office as we celebrate our first year of operation, and with the exception of our livers we don't think it could have been better. After much debate we couldn't think of a more appropriate way to celebrate a holiday of gorging except to take a page from the Capitol's book and drink while watching angsty teenagers kill each other. So gear up, sit down, and push play for this special edition drinking game, and may the odds be ever in your favor.
1) Every time the signature mockingjay pin is spotted take a drink.
2) Every time Katniss hits her target with an arrow take a drink.
3) Every time a tribute is killed take a drink.
4) Every time Haymitch takes a drink he better not be taking it alone.
5) Every time Katniss kisses a boy take a drink.
6) Every time Katniss gives "The Look" take a drink from intimidation. (If you don't know what The Look is scroll up and examine exhibit 1).
7) Every time the Capital theme music or propaganda is played take a drink.
8) Every time Effie Trinket says something totally inappropriate take a drink. (So pretty much whenever she talks)
9) Every time Haymitch stumbles or falls or pukes take a drink.
10) Every time the Capital throws something new and totally twisted at the tributes take 2 drinks!!!!!!
If you love our drinking games let us know! We are always looking for new films and rules for our games plus input from people who have played them and think they need to be tweaked. We test out all games but our bodies can only handle so much. So keep us updated with posts so we can continue to deliver the best bad decisions for fun nights in.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Title: Chasing The Prophecy (Beyonders #3)
Author: Brandon Mull
Price: $19.99 ($14.78-Amazon)
Rating: 3 out of 5/ The Mole
It's a fairly well known fact that children's books are not very realistic. Most of the time a few lucky kids are plucked from their boring lives and have grand, friendly adventures before they are dumped back home with riches and stories. The parents (who are always stupid in one way or another) are never the wiser about the fact their children have gone missing or that they spend their time running around smacking things with swords. There's always that cliche happy ending, and all those inconvenient loose ends simply disappear or are tied up nicely. Thankfully Brandon Mull has decided to take a refreshingly different approach in his newest adventure. The kids go missing, the parents panic, and in each world not everyone has a happy ending. Sacrifice is the most prominent theme in Beyonders, and this honest approach to cause and effect will make children think twice about wishing for adventure.
After years of running, beyonders Rachel and Jason have discovered the long sought prophecy to save the world of Lyrian. Now they must each lead half of the surviving rebels in opposite directions to stop the tyrant Maldor. Unfortunately, the fact that each of their missions is knowingly suicidal isn't helping to inspire confidence. Now they must decide to trust fate or their own instincts as they chase fairy tales and rumors to find the artifacts that will keep a world from an era in darkness. Success means a ticket back home while death would be a kindness compared to the treatment they will receive if they fail.
The weaknesses found in this book are unusual for Brandon Mull. This is an author who's greatest strength lies in the development of memorable and unusual characters. It stand out even more then, that the characters in this novel are so badly developed. The characters, which are a little too plentiful, get lost in one another with their difficult names and similar attitudes. With the exception of the two main children, the other characters are bland and seem to only exist for the support of the children's roles. When characters begin to die, their deaths have little to no impact on the reader. Since there are so many dramatic death scenes in the book they become simply a pattern of chapter endings instead of having the emotional impact the author intended.
My favorite part of this book, as well as the series, is the unapologetic reality of the story. The decisions that the children make throughout their adventures have real impact and gravity. The characters make some terrible choices and mistakes, which have consequence on the people they care about. As you read the book it becomes clear that not everyone is going to have a happy ending, nor will everyone get what they want. Sacrifice is a common theme and the children are often asked to sacrifice things they treasure for the sake of the larger picture. This theme continues all the way to the finale of the series and it gives the reader an ending that is not entirely happy but still satisfying.
As a series Beyonders is a solid trilogy but it is far from the best on the market right now. Younger children might enjoy it but adults that have a love for children's books will find it lacking. It seemed that Brandon Mull was playing it safe this time. So I hope that his next series will be the risky, fantastic, and imaginative writing that we are used too.
Picture Reference: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15801381-chasing-the-prophecy
Thursday, October 31, 2013
This Halloween the world was blessed by The King himself! Stephen King bestowed upon us a new novel titled Doctor Sleep. This unexpected book turned out to be a surprise sequel to the contemporary horror classic The Shining. To celebrate this new release and the holiday that accompanies it, The Office has carefully constructed a drinking game for your party tonight. Simply put on The Shining, grab a beer, and follow our rules. The Office would also like to remind you not to travel alone tonight... you never know what could be lurking behind the bushes.
1) If at any time you realize you're holding your breath take a drink
2) If Danny talks to his finger or Danny's finger talks take a drink
3) If a ghost appears take a drink
4) Every time room 237 make an appearance take a drink
5) Whenever Jack is at his typewriter take a drink
6) Whenever Jack breaks something take a drink
7) Every time one of the great quotes of the movie is said take a drink (This includes Redrum, Here's Johnny,
All work and no play make Jack a dull boy, the shining , etc.)
8) Whenever you spot blood take a drink (we chugged during the elevator scene but if your sane you won't do that)
9) Whenever someone dies take a drink
10) This is the most important rule! If you are able to yell BOO and get someone to jump while they are watching the movie they must take a drink
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Author: Dan Brown
Price: $29.95 ($14.09-Amazon)
Rating: 4 out of 5/ A Double Agent
This is likely the most pointless review I have ever put time into writing. I mean if we are going to be completely honest here, you've already decided wether you love or hate this book before you even turn the first page. Hell you probably decided it before you bought it. Reading a Robert Langdon adventure is the literary equivalent to watching a Indiana Jones movie. The formula that drives both of the doctor's adventures never truly changes. There will be betrayals, guns, a mini boss fight in the middle, a final boss fight at the end, sexy women who follow them around, and lots and lots of historical references put together in a way you'd never imagine but seem common sense once they're revealed to you. If you love that sort of thing, you will always love it along with this book. Meanwhile if you hate the predictability... well lets just say it isn't going to be throwing you anything jaw dropping in the shock department. So with keeping the futility of my efforts in mind I will attempt to break down the best and worst of Dan Brown's newest historical thriller.
When you wake up in the hospital, it's been a bad day. When you wake up in the hospital shot in the head, no memory of the last 24 hours, on the wrong side of the world, and the target of a tenacious assassin your having a Robert Langdon bad day. Still unimpressed? Well there's a plauge of bubonic proportions being released by a Dante obsessed madman millionair who has payed off all parts of government to bring down Langdon at any cost. And of course, like any good villian, he has kindly laid a trail of clues that will help lead our heros to their goal saving the world in a sadistic race through Italian history.
It has to be understood that I am simply one of those people who love the formula behind Dan Brown adventures. I loved it the first time and chances are good that I'll still being loving it the tenth. That being said I did manage to tally up some fair complaints regarding this latest installment. The story is as predictable as always, but this time there were a few head turning twists thrown in, and it's here that I had my biggest problem. The twists are terribly unfair, and when they were revealed it caused more anger then astonishment. I might be old school but I like to have a few clues before the big reveal. Then when I realize how wrongly I had put my information together I simultaniously feel stupid and awed for not piecing the puzzle together earlier. The clues that Dan Brown gives us in Inferno are so misleading that often times they were, quite frankly, lies. When you realize that the clues you have carefully collected through the stories were simply wrong or bad information it causes frustration and distraction. The rest of the complaints are small details, often regarding the unrealistic behavior of characters in the story and the seemingly constant terrible aim from the worlds bests soldiers.
The best part of a Robert Langdon book is, as always, Robert Langdon. The mix of humor, action, history, and akwardness from the main character will keep you engaged for hours. The humanity apparent in this unexpected action hero causes readers to be emotionally invested in the survival of Robert as he races out of the frying pan and into the fire. For those readers that like their books to be action packed, look no further. The book opens with a literal bang and doesn't let up until it has forcefully driven it's reader to the final sentence. Disregarding the somewhat dissapointing twists, the mystery of the novel as a whole is fantastically done. Albeit not very original Inferno does prove that fighting off the impending Apocalypse never gets boring.
A good book is one that drives the reader through the story relentlessly, and in this sense Inferno succeeded. That earns it a 4 out of 5 and like a good Double Agent full of twists, I think you'll feel satisfied at the finish.
Picture Reference: http://www.theatlanticwire.com/entertainment/2013/05/dan-brown-inferno/65174/
Monday, September 2, 2013
|Trust us, we won't be drinking Butter Beer!|
As the year passes and summer comes to an end, I am once again struck by how unfairly I age while my heros stay as young as ever. Harry Potter may still be a teenager but those that first fell in love with him have become adults. Luckily their childhood passions still leaves a mark upon the world. To honor them and their work this Labor Day we at The Office have created a drinking game just for them. We tested it out on the first film but we tried to make the rules applicable to all the movies!
1) Whenever someone says the name Harry Potter take a drink. (they must say the full name)
2) Respect for Muggles is hard to find, whenever someone says Muggle take a drink to honor them.
3) Everyone loves Hedwig so every time you see him take a drink!
4) Quidditch is the most popular non existing sport in history, played the world over by drunk college students everywhere. Every time someone references to or you see someone playing quidditch take a drink.
5) There are a lot of important red heads in the Harry Potter world, and they're all crazy in their own special way. Anytime you see two or more at the same time take a drink.
6) Dare I name he who must not be? Every time Vold... umm I mean he who must not be named is brought up take a drink for courage.
7) Hermione Granger has a certain know it all tone that drives everyone crazy. Every time she starts lecturing or otherwise telling off Ron and Harry take a drink.
8) Ron may be a sidekick but his antics often get Harry into more trouble than help. Every time Ron's shenanigans get Harry into unpleasantness take a drink.
9) Severus Snape might be an jerk but we can't help but love all the creative ways he makes Harry's life a living hell. Every time he practices that time perfected art of ass-holery take a drink!
10) As the hero, Harry Potter spends most of his time foiling evil plots. Every time a villain's carefully laid plans are laid to waste by our favorite teens take a celebratory drink in honor of all we love about the series.
Picture Reference: http://io9.com/5903968/this-harry-potter-art-makes-us-long-for-an-animated-series